Relationships

Last week, three of my friends' relationships ended. I have no idea what happened this weekend but by today they were all back together again. I really have no idea what happened with one of them. It caught me completely by surprise when they broke up, because it seemed to have happened out of nowhere. Another one, I sort of saw coming but I still did not expect it to happen until later. The last one I knew was going to happen and that it was going to happen soon. The first relationship I really have no idea what happened but it was one where I was actually friends with both of them, mostly one half, but nonetheless both. I don't really know enough about their relationship to give an opinion or to even ask them what happened so I will stay out of it. The second one, was with a friend that I am actually a lot closer with. I know why it happened and I know enough to talk about it. They have been together for a long time. The second longest couple in my class, actually. One half is completely comfortable with herself and doesn't need reassuring for a lot of things involving confidence. The other half, the one I'm friends with, is not exactly like that. He is slightly insecure but he hides from it by separating himself from his emotions. He needs reassurance and attention, which I totally understand. They are a perfect fit for each other. They are everything the other isn't. Their problems started because he would not believe her when she said she loved him and even though she constantly told him, he was totally skeptical. Then, because his ego or something got to him, he started to joke about that. How she didn't love him and that they were doomed to end. In the end, she got tired of it and decided to just end it. I think that this was pretty healthy for them. They got back together because they realized that they really liked each other and their fight was not even relevant. The last one I definitely knew it was going to happen. My friend had been talking about it before any of it happened. How she didn't exactly feel the way she did in the beginning and that she realized that she was only with him because, though she doesn't love him, she still cares for him and wants him to be well. The point is that she wanted things to end because she wasn't feeling it anymore. She was always scared to because she didn't want him to feel sad or for him to feel like he was not good enough for her. I personally admire her for this because she can own up to the fact that it isn't love but she also takes him into consideration. She broke up with him and she looked free, only after my other friend and I and several other people convinced her that it was the right thing for her. They got back together because he ended up persuading her to stay with him. I personally feel like he took advantage of how unbelievably kind she is to make her stay with him. I can tell that she isn't completely happy with their situation again. I don't want to tell her what to do because it's her life and she has to take into consideration all the factors that are important to her. But the point of me telling anyone any of this is to give whatever weak relationship advice I can offer. When you are in a relationship with someone you love, you have to overlook the little problems and get over yourselves to make it work. You also have to put aside your and your partner's problems and not let them get in the way. If it's love, it is definitely worth fighting for. But if you are in a relationship where the spark that used to be there has burned out or you are just plain unhappy beyond repair, you need to get out of it. It's not healthy for you and you should be the most important thing in your life, as it is yours and not anyone else's. It doesn't matter if the other person will be sad. That's not your fault. It is not your job to take care of them. Worry about your happiness before you go and break yourself to make other people happy. That is my advice for anyone in a relationship this upcoming Valentines' Day. I hope you spend it happily with your significant other or by yourself and that you don't get sick with all the cheese and chocolate that will be around.

Word of the Day: Counterfeit -- (adj) made in exact imitation of something valuable or important with the intention to deceive or defraud. Synonyms: fake, false, imitation of. Ex: A Chinese male DVD street seller was arrested as he attempted to sell counterfeit DVDs to passers by.

Song of the Day: CheaterCheaterBestFriendEater by Never Shout Never

People

So lately I have been talking to people. This is weird for me because I am not a very social person and I usually prefer keeping to myself. Of course I have my group of friends but I have been more comfortable around others lately and have even chatted with them. I recently did a debate in class and I think that I was adequate, but the point is that I had to stand in front of everybody and defend my topic (which was GMOs are good, by the way) and my voice didn't even break with my anxiety. I do not know if this is because I am more comfortable with my class or if I am getting over my fear of people. We won the debate, in case you were wondering. Another thing that has happened to me involving people happened at church. So last week, I went to church and had to do this report/speech thing about something that interests me. Psychology is my latest immersion project, so, naturally, I did it on mental illnesses and personality disorders. I have really been into this kind of study for a while (I am even considering it as a career), so I knew a lot about it, obviously. The youth group leader (at the time it was the pastor) made us read it aloud in front of everyone else and answer any questions the audience had. I did not know how much we were supposed to write, so I wrote a basic research essay, which for me is one or two pages. I did one and a half, and it turned out everybody did about two paragraphs. When I went up, I almost had a panic attack because I had never held a proper conversation with anyone and I was about to embarrass myself by looking like a know-it-all and overachieving on the homework. Since I had a lot to say on the topic, people assumed I knew everything there was to know about it and asked me a boatload of questions. I knew the answers to them only because I had researched this stuff for my own amusement, not because I clicked on every website to make sure I outsmarted everyone. The point is I got through my little performance without fainting and managed to sound like a human. After the presentations, they made us eat and I am all for free food at any time so I was happy. But this food was not free; in exchange for that meal, we were forced to talk to people we did not really know. The people that were there claimed to have all known me for years (technically true since I have been going to this church since I was 5), but most still don't even know how to spell my name; some people didn't even know my name was! I was paired with Angelina and got to know her a bit. I did not really talk but I didn't start crying from the pressure so it was definitely progress, since it has happened to me before. Today, we were supposed to share what we learned about that person. I did what I was told and even told a joke (Angelina was 21 so I said the number like in that vine). They asked me questions about myself and I answered a few, even if I never asked them any questions. Now I am known as the nerdy, geeky girl who wears black. I was able to talk to people without freaking out, and even if I was nervous out of my mind, it is still progress and I am proud of myself for it. I just wanted to share this little anecdote of my life because it is huge for me and if anyone else is suffering from anxiety, you should know that it can get better so don't worry about it so much, please.

Word of the Day: Bigot -- (noun) a person who is intolerant toward those who hold different opinions. Synonyms: chauvinist, narrow-minded, prejudiced person. Ex: Her mother often accused her or sounding like a racist bigot, saying she ought to exercise more control over her thoughts.

Song of the Day: Bittersweet by Panic At The Disco

Hello, again...

Hi, um, it has been a long while since I have used this thing. I had forgotten that this even existed until a little while ago when I decided to explore my old stuff. Originally, this started out as a thing I had to make and update as a school assignment and wow I am so embarrassed about the stuff I had written. I am so sorry for not knowing how to spell or write anything coherent that had any sort of focus to it. I realize that I am basically writing to myself since: a) no one even uses this website; and b) I am not interesting, but I would like to be able to look back and remember what I was like when I was this age. I would like to reintroduce myself to you. You already know my name, obviously, but if you are someone who is not me, you don't really need to know. I am awkward and might have social anxiety, but Future Me will know if I really do, right? I don't know if it is an actual issue, or if it is just a puberty thing. I want you to know that people terrify me, even if I find them incredibly interesting. Intimacy and merely touching other people makes me uncomfortable. Other people's public displays of affection make me uncomfortable as well. I pretty much only feel comfortable online, when I read, or when I am watching something. Remember that my favorite class is Literary Genre because I get to read and write and write about what I read. I have decided to start on an all new blog so that I can start fresh. What I plan to do on my reactivated blog is talk about things that have happened to me, things that I want to voice my opinions on, (if I have any followers) what people want me to talk about, and just talk (or rather write) about things I want to talk about. This is going to be my journal, basically. I am going to keep on doing the Word Of The Day thing I used to do because it was the only clever thing I had thought of and it could improve my vocabulary and anyone's reading this. I might still do a Song Of The Day as well, if I feel like it that day. Thank you for reading, and please have a nice day.

PS - Future Me:  The people I may or may not talk about will all have pseudonyms and you will remember them through the first initial of their name.

Word of the Day:  Abhor -- (verb) to regard with hate or disgust. Synonyms: detest, despise, hate, loathe. Ex: People who seek peace abhor violence.

No Song of the Day today, sorry.